I wish I could tell you that I have a formula for handling this issue that will work for every family, but that’s not realistic.  What I can do is share a few things that have worked well for our family:

• First and foremost, seek God’s will for your life and that of your family.  Pray about commitments BEFORE you make them, and be willing to do as He leads.  This is an invaluable lesson for kids to learn (and parents too)!

• Sunday mornings and Wednesday evenings are off limits (with very, very few exceptions).  Church, Sunday School and Awana are non-negotiable.  Activities that would require participation during the times reserved for those things are eliminated from consideration.  We have successfully negotiated with coaches for early departure from practices on Wednesdays, so it can be done.  It is never too early to teach kids that some things in life are a priority, and that God deserves better than our leftovers.  If you are consistent in applying that mindset (and you have the same priorities for YOUR agenda), kids will learn to respect it, and there won’t be any need for debates about Sundays and Wednesdays.

• There is such a thing as “too much of a good thing”.  Luke 5:16 tells us that Jesus himself often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.  What He was doing was certainly good stuff, but even the Lord needed some “down time” periodically. Most all of the activities I see pulling families in 50 different directions are, in-and-of themselves, “good stuff”.  Sports teach kids about fair play, teamwork, discipline and physical fitness; but does a 9 year-old really need to be on a traveling team that practices or plays 5-6 days a week in order to learn those lessons?  Of course not.  And as parents, as much as we all love to see our kids succeed,  we need to be honest with ourselves about the odds of little Sally or Timmy ever getting a college scholarship, much less becoming a pro athlete.  Some will, but the vast majority will never play beyond high school.   The same can be said for any of the other activities your kids might be interested in: music, dance, theater — the list goes on and on.  Look for alternatives that allow your child the time to explore and enjoy other activities, rather than focusing all of his/her effort on one thing.  Be aware: Kids burn-out too.

• Make free time a priority.  The lives of many kids today are over-scheduled and over-programmed.  Children need opportunities for unscripted, unprogrammed interaction.   A significant portion of the social skills we learned as kids were learned when we were forced to deal with peers without the ever watchful eyes of adults.  As adults, we’re sometimes too quick to jump in and correct a child or referee their social interactions (the instinct to protect our young is strong indeed).  When kids are forced to mediate their own interactions, feelings will get hurt sometimes, but valuable lessons will be learned.  Free time also allows a child to use his or her imagination more than a programmed activity does.  Some of my favorite games as a kid were games my buddies and I invented when we couldn’t find anything else to do.  Bottom line: Let kids be kids.

• Take the needs of the entire family into account when deciding on the viability of an activity for any one member.  The greater good of the family is very important here.  Are you spending enough time together?  Are you truly a family, or just a group of people with too much to do living under the same roof?  Is mom at her wit’s end on a regular basis from trying to chauffeur the kids to all of their activities?  If so, it’s time to make changes.  Explain to the kids that something has to change (for their good and yours); discuss their priorities with them and have them help you decide what needs to be eliminated or  modified in their schedules.  It might be painful now, but the benefits are worth the effort.

Please understand — I’m not condemning any activities here.  I’m simply urging you to take a well-balanced approached to your family’s commitments and activity levels.  The ideas I’ve shared have served our family well, but they may not be the answer for yours.  Again, the most important thing any of us can do (and this DOES apply to everyone) is seek God’s will for our lives.  Take your time issues to Him and ask Him what’s a priority, and what needs to go.

I pray that we’ll all find God’s balance for our families this Fall, and that He’ll be glorified by our actions!

Bill

But as awesome as my freedoms as an American are, they pale by comparison to the freedom I have in Christ. The freedom that only Jesus can offer — freedom from sin and death. And while our independence as a country came at a high price — the lives of nearly a million Americans since the Revolutionary War — our freedom in Christ came at an even higher price: the sacrifice of the Son of God. A perfect and blameless Lamb who loved us so much He went to a cruel and hideous death so that we could be saved.

Our response to our freedom as American’s should be loyalty and allegiance, as well as the pursuit of continued freedom. Our response to our freedom in Christ is somewhat different. Yes, it demands devotion to Him (loyalty and allegiance), but not through the pursuit of continued freedom, but by becoming His willing bondservants. Only when we turn our entire lives over to the King of Kings — when we willingly become His servants — are we truly free. And that freedom is available to us both in America, or in the deepest darkest prison cell in any country in the world.

This country was founded by colonists seeking the freedom to worship Jesus. Our independence was declared by our forefathers based on Christian values: “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness”. What better way could we celebrate Independence Day than by telling others about the God on whom this fine nation was founded?

Share the Good News of freedom in Christ with someone this 4th of July!

Bill